M. Bon Reve; Saint

As a child, M. Bon Reve's family was attacked by highway bandits. His mother and father were killed. The bandits kidnapped young Bon Reve and retained him for uncouth purposes during much of his youth. At about the age of 15, the bandits decided to do away with him. Several henchmen held him against an elm tree while the bandit leader produced a large claw hammer. The leader used the claw end of the hammer to pound young Bon Reve's eyes back into his skull. At a certain point during this process, the top of Bon Reve's skull shot up into the sky to reveal a column of brilliant white light emanating from within his head. The light blinded the bandits. It is said that Saint M. Bon Reve appears to destroy monsters in the dreams of the faithful.

Starbuck's mouth

Starbuck had an abnormally located and enlarged esophageal sphincter in his mouth. Some say this rendered much of what he had to say difficult to follow.

Starbuck, the prophet

Starbuck was mostly active in the early part of the last century writing treatises against sea travel. His primary text, "I Did, At Last, Receive a Much Lower Layer" was highly influential in establishing many radical fundamentalist movements.

Rexworthy's Beard!

A common oath heard at any drunken Rexworthy worshiping event is "Rexworthy's Beard!" Indeed, his beard is probably his most startling attribute. Often mistaken for hair, it is (along with his mustache) a solid piece of razor-sharp chitin. In battle or while dispatching unwanted worshipers, he often inflicts mortal wounds with his jagged beard.

The Great God Rexworthy

Rexworthy is both a deity and a swashbuckler. His worshipers receive complimentary swordplay training sessions along with organic food-buying tips. Rexworthy is not a god to be trifled with and often turns on his worshipers for no apparent reason. He is known for being fond of both the raw and slow food movements as well as staging elaborately choreographed Displays of Wrath!

Saint Humbert's Eyes

When he sobs, Saint Humbert's tears well up in his closed eyes, until the flaps burst open from pressure.

His syrupy sweet tears are considered to be liquid miracles to his followers.

His followers often gather about him, goading him to remember his childhood until the sobbing begins. Then, holding cups greedily towards his face, they await the First Gushing of Nostalgic Tears.

Saint Humbert

Saint Humbert is often mistaken as a demon because of his horns and large pores. He is, for the most part, benign. Instead of lids, his eyes have flaps that lower to allow mostly things above the average line of sight to be seen. Because of this, Saint Humbert often carries himself with an air of aristocracy.

He is well known for sobbing for days on end over his lost youth.